alexx

maybe.

2010-07-12T16:39:00.000-07:00

maybe my laugh is fake.

maybe this smile is just a cover up.

maybe i'm still sleeping when i wake.

maybe there's more than just nothin' much after someone asks "what's up?"

maybe life's not as short as it seems.

maybe we're all transparent.

maybe we can actually reach our dreams.

maybe everything is incoherent.

maybe this pretty picture isn't so perfect.

maybe we're all daydreaming the same thing.

maybe these dots just don't connect.

maybe we're all puppets on a string.

maybe we all wear masks.

maybe we all have something to hide.

maybe i'm just to scared to ask.

maybe we're just all crying inside.

maybe. maybe. maybe.

2010-06-21T09:52:00.001-07:00

"I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it is in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now?" -John Lennon

you've heard it before. lovelovelove.

2010-06-15T19:41:00.000-07:00

what is that? a four letter word? a curse? a blessing? a tragedy? a wonder? a dream? a nightmare? a seed? a glass jar?

i think i finally figured it out.

it's a puzzle that is yet to be solved by the right two people.

"i wave 'hello' to the world"

2010-06-08T18:11:00.000-07:00

everytime life becomes almost perfect, things will fall apart, well for me at least. there are days when i don't even want to be near my phone. you can try to imagine how many times this has happened to me. and you might say "just get back up, no big deal." sure i've tried that so many times. but sometimes you need someone on the other end or other side to be there for you. to catch you when you fall. and i don't have a sibling, lover, or a close friend that can always be there no matter what. that's why it takes longer for me to get back up. but i do eventually get back up. just not as quick.

love can be a funny thing. hah. especially between us people. mixing up feelings and tossing them like a salad. like a food fight, fun but there is always trouble at the end of the tunnel in some way. true love would be like the people not ditching the clean up at the end and be happy that they are together anyways no matter what the situation. but the patchy love would be the ones who ditch or try to get out of the consequence because they simply don't like it. and i don't want that. i want to clean up junk off the walls and be happy with the one guy i get stuck with. the soulmate that God gives me. forever and always. the guy here that will catch me and help me up from the ground. because he's the one i want to be with forever. not some patchy guy.

i'm stuck with dreams for now. good dreams, bad dreams. just dreams. unfulfilled dreams.

a rough draft of life in progress.

it was only a dream, i hope

2010-05-19T16:26:00.000-07:00

hopefully what happened in my dream doesn't really happen in real life. maybe i'm just saying that. maybe i do want it to happen, i just don't know it yet. maybe that's what God wants to happen. maybe it's how life is supposed to go. maybe i'm overly thinking everything. maybe i'm not. maybe being grounded from church is going to help me do better. maybe it will break me down. maybe maybe maybe. so many maybes and so many unanswered questions. but i can't help that. because sometimes i know and God knows that i don't want to know the answer, and that i just want to know what happens next. He knows everything and all about the "whys" but yet i still question "why?" and it makes me restless to not know, even though i know i don't want to know. but i want to know what tomorrow holds and i want to know what he's thinking even though God gives me messages in the form of dreams to see what might become of what i know and who i know and what i have. but we'll see. because everything right now is just a MAYBE.

worried about not the rights stuff

2010-04-16T23:10:00.000-07:00

the life needs not to be filled with so many little distractions, only the big main focus on our God. we, as people, worry about our looks too much. "appearance is appealing to everyone." but is it really? what about to those who don't have enough to even support themselves? what do they do then? why don't we worry about that then? how about the people with no food? no new "hip" clothes? no shoes? nothing like our "great" material things? what then?

how do we manage to look past that but not the little things like our looks? do you care so much about your style and appearance that you wouldn't spare a thought for the less fortunate?

do you even want to help them? have you ever put yourself in their position? ever look at their lives and compared the difference? we are so blessed that we even have shelter as to other people have boxes or broken houses. what do we do now?

look past yourself. live for Him and Him alone. do things out of love and to glorify God. don't let pride get in the way. your reputation is nothing in heaven. but God has a place for you up there. He loves you no matter what you do and He never stops loving anyone. do things differently from what society expects of you. help others with him. guide them. do things because you want to not because you have to. love them and everyone.

kidwatching was fun. cutiepies.

2010-04-12T18:29:00.000-07:00

my spring break was very kid-filled. :) but very fun. a lot of God too. :) which makes me happy. :) so saturday i went to the movies with hannah and kiana. we watched percy jackson and...(that crazy title that i don't remember) hahah. kiana and i both saw four cute boys. :p but i saw another one so that makes five for me. hahah. but it wasn't like "oh i would want to date him" or anything like that. it was purely saying that they looked cute. :) harmless. anywho last week i kidwatched my little cousins and we had lots and tons of great fun. :) went to the mall the past friday. :) oober fun i got a new bow! :) yay! God is so amazing and great in everything He does even when i don't understand why He does what He does. :) hahah so many smilies! :p mmmmmmm byee!

goodbye spring break

2010-04-12T06:44:00.001-07:00

hey school. not really happy to see you. but eh, all i can say is eh, eh. wow.. i somehow managed to quote lady gaga. hahah. it's early. but not early enough. God has blessed us with so much. but i have to go soon so more later. :)

the duet

2010-04-05T21:37:00.000-07:00

wrote a duet. very very very very nature-y. :) friendship, love. nature. happy. day one of spring break. crazy day. i love His Amazing Love. :) because He is Love.

the four letters that actually make sense.

2010-03-17T06:31:00.000-07:00

so if i were struck down by lightning and forgot everything like who i was and who you were, would you still be my friend and help me out or just even to sacrifice your time just to be with me?

yes? no? maybe?

i think if that happened to one of my friends. i would do so. because i love.

do you love?

threepointonefouronefiveninetwosixfivefour

2010-03-14T19:27:00.000-07:00

happy pi day. :)

happy birthday/un-birthday

happy anniversary/break-up

whatever the occasion. it all comes down to one thing. God's Love.

what is it?

it's never-ending, everlasting, unconditional, crazy love. no one else can even try to measure up to that. how crazy amazing is that? :)

that is one relationship that will never break, no matter what happens. He's always there for you and for me.

don't let anyone tell you that you are useless, ugly, stupid, or whatever else is negative. and if they do, don't let it get to you. God is there for you! tell Him your issues. He's yearning for your love. and He wants you to turn to Him with whatever problem! :) that it. He wants to let you know that He loves you and He will pull you through everything.

God is the peace within me. He is the love within me.

self-centered:insecure :: egocentric:narcissistic

2010-03-08T20:43:00.000-08:00

sure you think the world revolves around you. because you think that the you are the center of the earth. well the truth is it's not about you.

to live is to love. to love is to live out for Him.

2010-03-06T09:48:00.000-08:00

"i've been thinking that the stars are all aligned."

maybe, just maybe i'll meet him today. maybe not. but that's okay. He's got a plan for everyone. :)

this is short, i know. and i am sorry. more later. :)

farewell february. i bid you adieu.

2010-02-28T20:43:00.000-08:00

hey february, you were a very filled month. and i thank you for that. God, dude, you are amazing! :) i wrote a little something for you Father. it's not that great, because i am just one little itty bitty person and you are so Great and soo Big and Awesome. i'm just here in awestruck wonder. because You are just that Amazing. anywho, here it is. hope you and whoever else reads this likes it.

Cause You, You make it worth it

And You, You turn it all into beautiful things

Cause You make every moment

To help us and guide us through

Cause You are You

And Your love, Your love true

and i couldn't be happier right now

2010-02-22T19:41:00.000-08:00

i am soo blessed. blessed beyond anything anyone will ever know.

friends, family, food, shelter, a loving Father, Jesus, music, art, acting, so many things. countless. the list would probably wrap around the entire earth, not just once but at least five times. because that's all i can count to. :) it's amazing how God can simply just make you listen to a song and your mood can turn from sad/depressed/ melancholy to happy/glad/amazement. i love how He's made me change from looking in to darkness to living in His great perfect light. :)

love on the rocks.

2010-02-15T17:07:00.000-08:00

i will write a song just for you one day, and i will mean every single word i say.

i promise.

i've always wanted to sing to a boy that i really like. but i'd be soo scared out of my mind. but when i'm in worship, i sing my heart out. i want God to hear me. so shouldn't that be like me singing to a boy? well maybe. i'm slowly becoming less and less nervous in front of crowds. but still it's quite nerve-wrecking. the song will have to match the person, so i can mean every lyric i sing to that boy. i hope i can get up the nerve to do so, some day.

rabbit rabbit rabbit.

2010-02-01T11:27:00.000-08:00

oh this month is going to be interesting. what a start of this new year. :) heheh. with valentines day around the block, i have a feeling this month isn't going to be that great. :/ but that's life. the ups and downs. hahah. well. anywhoo.

ladybugs.

warm hugs.

with couples, here and there, exchanging their "iloveyous."

i stand here looking at the lovely sky of blue.

marveling at God's great creation.

still standing, after many generations.

people send cheesy cards from here to there.

filling it up with so called "love" in this air.

hearts everywhere, heart-shaped this and heart-shaped that.

observing in disgust, here i am sat.

wondering how couples can stand being so mushy and cliche.

smiling and laughing, realizing i'm NOT alone on ANOTHER valentine's day.

hippies. peace. hope. love. dreams. nature.

2010-01-28T13:42:00.000-08:00

a whisper in a class when no one's talking.

a leaf fell on my head.

a lady bug landed on my frozen yogurt cup.

what next?

i like this crazy weird stuff.

in tune with nature and God.

young love is fleeting.

2010-01-25T15:25:00.000-08:00

young-ins.

love.

ships.

icebergs.

all the ingredients to a terrible disaster, right?

help me figure out how to get so lost with no where else to be but here. making sense of nonsensical things. figuring out how to get lost in the impossible maze. treading the perpetual journey of His will. loving someone/thing and you have no idea what will happen someday else in the far galaxy of tomorrow.

save a bug. maybe something will change.

smile maybe something will fall into place.

winter retreat.

2010-01-16T14:00:00.000-08:00

hey i hope you guys are having fun. :) i know you won't get this until after you come back but it's okay. i miss you guys and well i hope you guys have a great time in the mountains. growing. growing closer to God. learning more from Him. and getting to know Him better. and wow. just thinking about all this i really do feel like i'm there with you guys. like i just feel this sense of peace and a calm heart. i know you guys will encounter something, big or small, that doesn't matter as long as you don't ignore it. i know that i'm not there, don't be sorry or whatever. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. there is a reason that i didn't go. not just because my mom said i couldn't. i want to know why i was left behind. God has the answer, He always does. even though i want to know, i don't want to find out. maybe to spend more time with grandparents. maybe there's some inspiration here. maybe i need to spend time with school stuff more. maybe to practice for this wonderful opportunity to audition for the spring musical. maybe to just be alone, one-on-one time with God everywhere i go without distractions from my church family/friends. maybe to just take a break from everything, even church. maybe. just maybe. maybe all of this. maybe.

lost petals

2010-01-10T22:57:00.000-08:00

it's like a wilting flower

losing balance

tipping over

drying out

suffocating

all i need to do

is lose my outer shell

shed old petals

and trust in you

you make things wonderful, marvelous, and simply just great

the One

the One and Only

i know i was lost

but now i've crawled back into the light

you found me

digging up my own way out of this world

you took my hand and said everything's alright

squiggly lines

2010-01-09T21:35:00.000-08:00

life.

it's not about what you have or who you have.

it's about who gave that all to you and just cherishing it.

not all of it is just circles, squares, and triangles.

not only straight lines.

there are twists and turns.

ups and downs.

everything you can imagine.

winding roads to zig-zaggity streets.

blurry lights to neon signs everywhere.

do you take the time to just look and watch it all pass by?

or do you just let it all pass by because there's always tomorrow to look at it, right?

because life's an endless cycle, and you'll always wake up the next morning exactly the same, right?

the squiggly lines can guide us, if we just stop asking so many questions.

if we don't care what comes next and we don't worry about the future.

if we just followed the bread crumbs to see where God wants us to be.

if we followed the road paved just for us. not because someone else pressures you to go.

the future is now.

change starts now.

inside out sock.

2010-01-04T20:24:00.000-08:00

what are you doing right now?

well whatever it is, is it part of your everyday routine?

so this dayy, might have been the best school day in quite sometime today.

i mean i was singing to myself to almost each class i went to, and i hardly ever do that.

my hands are covered with blots of ink from my pen that's been spewing out excess ink.

i think my creativity's up and running again. :)

i've been thinking about when Jesus is coming back, and how he'd show up in a room.

would he walk through the door? go through the ceiling? just POOF out of thin air?

well i obviously don't know and no one else does, not even Jesus!

i write down scribblies in my notebook about whatever came to my mind!

they all might even be formed and shaped and molded into possibly new songs!

so i get back and i'm home for four hours.

after i finish homework, i sit on the couch.

"something's not right." i think. i look down at my socks. "why is one sock more faded than the other? OH Snapp! my right sock is on inside out."

maybe sometimes doing things as a routine is a bad thing. and maybe it wasn't an accident that i had my sock on inside out. maybe God had me put my sock on like that because he wanted me to have a different perspective than the people who just had their socks on the right way. i mean sure it sounds ridiculous, but i got to see things in a different point of view and i loved every second of it.

sure some people might just think that i'm a dork and i can't even dress myself. maybe i cant that's why i had a sock on inside out. and sure i think i'm a dork and i know i can't dress myself properly sometimes. God does these crazy amazing things and i don't know if you want to take them in or just look over them and think it's just a coincidence. but i don't think that it's a coincidence. i really do believe that He intended all this to happen. the sock, the great day, the ink, the ideas, my creativity. everything.

cause You're the Salt to my pepper. the LOVE to my letter

2009-12-31T21:17:00.000-08:00

new years eve. looking back on all these years. wow. i've been a jerk. i need to be nicer and instead of just taking everything for granted, i need to thank God for everything. i know i have been do that once and a while now. but i just need to do that more often.

new years resolutions.

be nicer to everyone

smile a lot more

be happy

work harder

learn to love more

love more

pray more

read the bible more

be more responsible

write, a lot more, like mad!

pick up an instrument :)

try not to get in trouble (haha, this might be impossible but i'll try not to)

"cause You're the Salt to my pepper, the LOVE to my letter."

six more school days! fifteen days until christmas!

2009-12-10T16:13:00.000-08:00

love! and not just any boy's love. not just anyone's love. GOD'S LOVE! does anyone feel warm sometimes when other's are like freezing cold? are you excited for the twenty-fifth? :) i know i am.

through the thick and thin. there is always at least one person i can turn to and that's God. He never leaves me. and He's always there for anything i need help with. no matter the size of the issue. no matter how big my giants are. He can take on anything and He's there every step of the way. even if the steps are super small like baby steps or like hugantic! and His love never fails. :)

does anyone have God's mailing address?

2009-12-07T19:08:00.000-08:00

this is nooo joking matter. i wanted to send Him love in a postcard. i know i could just tell Him in my prayers but writing a postcard to Him sounds so much more fun and awesomee. so if you've go it. tell me. thanks i really appreciate it. :)

just pray. it works.

temporary, fabricated love

2009-12-03T16:54:00.000-08:00

some questions to think about:

how can you love, if you don't know where it has originated from?

do you know who started it?

do you know why?

have you found a love that's more than just on the surface?

what is love?

ever felt safe as a kid, like someone was always with you?

like all the time, everywhere you were and whenever it was?

it's Jesus. He's with us always. no matter where we are. whenever.

sad thing is, some of people don't even BELIEVE that. some of them are all tied up with the worldly things here. and then they run away from God, even though it's almost impossible to do that.

my answers (you don't have to have the same answer, i know not many people think the same way, especially to think like me. because i'm pretty weird, and we all know that.)

i don't think you can't really love if you don't know where it's from. God started Love, if He didn't Love us we wouldn't be here. i'm not sure why. but He is naturally unconditionally Loving. i have found a Love that's deeper than any ocean and higher than any mountain, and that's God's Love. i'm not going to say what love is because to me, it's unexplainable. but i'll tell you what i think it's not. Love is NOT half-hearted, temporary, made-up, imagined, fabricated, selfish, a one-way street, part-time, saying something you don't TRUELY mean. the only way i can explain Love is, that it is 100% REAL.

"i'm a mess. i confess that i'm nothing without You."

2009-11-27T09:32:00.000-08:00

that's not part of a Christian song. but it means a lot. i think i'm starting to fall in love with indie pop/rock and acoustic songs a lot more now. thanks God for letting me accidentally stumble upon these amazing songs. You're the bestest.

thanks for blessing me with everything i have. but i want to lift up those who are less fortunate. the ones with no food, shelter, clean clothes, and whatever else we have that they don't. please fill them up with Your love and open peoples' eyes to the reality of that and push them (and me too) to Do something about it. not just to do it out of pride. but to do it for You. we wouldn't even be here if it weren't for You and Your love for us. thanks God again. i can never thank You enough. it seems to me that it's always too little. thank You. thank You. thank You. iloveYou, God.

happy thanksgiving. happy black friday.

yourbiggestfan

2009-11-24T17:10:00.001-08:00

if God had fans. i'd hope that i'm His biggest fan.

still through the cold the fire in my heart burns still for God and Jesus.

Thanks for giving me life Guys. :)

i love you foreverrr.

think in a new perspective

2009-11-14T13:16:00.000-08:00

so this week was pretty crazy. i found something out. and i think that it might help those of you reading this. but maybe not. so wednesday at mid week worship at my church we had talked about armor bearers and today at the prayer meeting we talked about fighting and conquering our giants (david and goliath). and i thought to myself as i was looking at the cross that was on the podium and i was thinking about that cross while listening to the story that kevin was talking about.

and want to know what i noticed about that cross and crosses in general?

(i don't know if you said yes or no but i'll tell you anyways)

so the cross is a weapon. how? we turn to the cross and think of Jesus Christ. we look at the cross and see the perfect light that God has for us to see. we see the cross and it reminds us that we are forgiven.

so that very cross is what we can hold on to. we are always reminded of God and Jesus everytime we see that cross. He died for us on that cross. to forgive us and save us. the cross is something that can help us fight off evils and temptations of this world and help us to not be so caught up in worldly things. "There is no love like God's love." the cross is like the sword that can help us win over all these troubles and worries. but only if we allow it to be the sword.

let's face it. we can't do everything on our own. we need help sometimes. most of the time. all the time.

about : blank

2009-11-10T20:02:00.001-08:00

loading...

so nothing really important to say.

only that i finished writing lyrics for a song i'm probably not going to add music to until i learn to play guitar, which i have been putting off for weeks/months now.

it's about a friend, that's all.

i'll try and i hope that i will write it as soon as possible. (asap :))

so yea.

please don't leave me alone

2009-11-09T21:06:00.000-08:00

And the clouds from ripping out my broken heart.
We always say a heart is not whole without the one who gets you through the storm.
Standing out in the rain, knowing that it's really over- please don't leave me alone
Flooded with all this pain, knowing that I'll never hold you, like I did before the storm

how can you hold on as i try to move on without your grip?

i want to part from you but you hold on tight.

you're always there for me no matter what i do, what i say, and how i act.

you're unconditional love is like a never ending ocean.

thanks for being here always and forever.

there is such thing as "too happy"

2009-11-05T18:02:00.000-08:00

Charlie Brown: I think I’m afraid to be happy.
Lucy: How can you be afraid to be happy?
Charlie Brown: Because whenever you get too happy, something bad always happens.

oh charlie brown, if you were real i think we'd be best friends.

harvest night.

2009-10-31T08:36:00.000-07:00

well, what can i say?

it was beyond fun.

fastest texter?

say what?

since when?

hmmm. that's odd.

i thought it would've been naomi.

the costumes that people had were really cool. this year, people have been being pretty creative with costumes and such. i like that a lot. :)

have a happy halloween and be careful!

oh yea, have fun too!

what if....

2009-10-26T16:46:00.000-07:00

what if the sky were green?

what if the grass were blue?

what if night was day and day was night?

what if we only saw in one color?

what if Adam and Eve didn't disobey God?

what if life were perfect?

what if peace was a disease like the plague?

what if we died of happiness and not of depression?

what if...?

bury the castle

2009-10-13T16:53:00.000-07:00

once upon a time, there lived a poor kid, tim, in a little shack with his ten brothers and sisters along with the momma and pappa. tim is the youngest of the family.

one day, tim, walked past the castle that he lived next to. the little boy in the castle saw tim walking and he went to talk to him.

"hi" said the castle kid.

"hello" said tim.

"my name's nate. what's yours?"

"i'm tim."

everyday they would talk and they became very good friends. then one day, when nate had seen tim's house.

"is that where you live?" nate asked.

"yea, with all ten brothers and sisters." tim answered.

nate: "how come you don't live in a castle?"

tim: "i don't know. because that's not God's plan for me."

nate: "who's God?"

tim: "God is the creator of everything and He's got everyone's life plan."

nate: "really?"

tim: "yea, He's a cool dude."

nate: "He sure sounds awesome."

so that night before nate went to sleep, he asked his father if he knew God.

"God? who told you about this God?" his father's tone was a little angered.

"tim. my friend from next door." nate answered.

"oh. i see. don't talk to him anymore, you are to stay here only." his father stormed out of the room and down the stairs.

the next day, tim stopped walking to wait for nate to come down the stairs and walk down.

tim: "Nate!"

nate stuck his head out of the window and saw tim.

nate whispered loudly, "yea??"

"let's go!"

"i can't my dad locked me in my room for bringing up God."

"that's tough...sorry."

"it's alright. i've been so bored!"

"wait right there. let me get something for you."

tim runs back home and gets his Bible. and goes back outside.

"nate! do you have some rope?"

"yea, right here. why?"

"just throw some down here and when i say okay pull it up."

"okay"

"OKAY!"

nate pulls up the rope and sees a book tied to it. then looked at it.

"what's this?"

"it's a Bible."

"for what?"

"well, i'm not going to be able to talk to you soon, so hopefully you can read some of that instead of listening to me talk about God all the time."

"thanks!"

"don't thank me, thank God. it's His plan."

you are the only exception

2009-10-12T17:03:00.000-07:00

do you believe in a TRUE love?

my answer: yes. Jesus. God.

resource: the Bible, His Love Letter.

The Only Exception by Paramore.

the clouds are dancing around, singing a song

2009-10-04T20:26:00.000-07:00

beauty is......

Unnoticed

Misunderstood

All around us

Birds chirp songs of joy

Butterflies dance cheerfully

Flowers decorate these towns

The world's noise

Distracts all of us

From seeing God's beauty created on this earth.

it pains me to say, i'm gonna stay.

2009-09-29T19:17:00.000-07:00

tough decisions.

we all make them.

well today i had to make quite a big decision.

i'm not completely sure if it was the right one.

but i trust in God, and i pray that i did.

i had to choose between staying at the school that i am at now that i don't really like or go back to my old school with all my great friends.

i didn't think too much of it until after i answered.

i contemplated for a little bit and answer quickly.

i said "i'm going to stay at this school."

after i hung up the phone, i thought to myself, "that was stupid of me. i chose to stay instead of go back?"

then the two sides of me were arguing inside.

then i knew this was God working up inside.

giving me a choice to make. stay or go?

i chose stay and i think that's what He wants me to do.

"The Road Not Taken"

by Robert Frost

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that, the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

two roads diverged in a wood, and I --

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference."

we do things we don't want to sometimes. God gives us THOSE challenges.

maybe He wants us to do things differently for a change.

He wants us to do Something.

forever and always

2009-09-24T21:59:00.000-07:00

this is a prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father, God,

Please bless each and everyday for everyone. Just show them Your everlasting love, it's never ending, and unconditional. You love us no matter what we do. Lord, you are the greatest. Take everything i have, i give it all to You. Take my life and use me. Put words in my mouth so that i may say what You want me to say to other people, non-believers in Christ. I pray that You send fire down into our hearts that never burn out. We live for You. We are an image of You. We are Yours. Thanks for everything. Forever and Always.

In Jesus' name i pray. Amen.

"Forever and Always

I'll be by Your side."

poems

2009-09-22T21:43:00.000-07:00

when you leave

online to offline

here to there

i feel a tad broken

missing you forever

when you're gone i'm here waiting

anticipating

God your love is just divine

when i'm down you let your light shine

upon me to make it bright

you are the perfect light

king of kings

ruler of all things

you turn my frown

always upside down.

smiling

glancing silently

making lots of eye contact

lost in each others conversations

time stops

"love is the way he looks into my eyes and can see into my heart."

"love is like two kids playing in a park and taking turns on a swing."

just observe

2009-09-16T22:33:00.000-07:00

so today after i ate dinner, i did something different. i went out to the balcony and i looked out into the distance. i saw a many colored sky. the colors that i could see and tell were: blue, green, and orange. i saw a tree that looked like a cross and reminded me of Jesus. then i scanned the sky, and stopped at something. i looked at this flag and it was the american flag. it was waving in the sky because the winds were blowing. i noticed how the edges of the flag had been torn or burned a little because it wasn't completely even.

i think today was a day that God told me to stop what i was doing and just look at the things i don't notice daily. i think He wanted me to see the different things. He wants everyone to notice the littlest things in life that could make us smile and have other emotions. and that's awesome. so we need a break from our human life and just look, just really look into things and observe how something looks like or how something works or is done.

thank you, God. for everything. all you've made is perfect.

the soundtrack of my summer.

2009-09-08T00:09:00.000-07:00

these are just tracks that described my past summer of twenty oh nine.

1. Thunder - Boys Like Girls

2. Don't Stop Believing - Journey

3. Make You Smile - +44

4. One Day, Robots Will Cry - Cobra Starship

5. Too Much - All Time Low

6. Therapy - All Time Low

7. The Scene is Dead; Long Live the Scene - Cobra Starship

8. Magical - Selena Gomez

9. When The Day Met The Night - Panic at the Disco

10. Fireflies - Owl City

11. Be My Escape - Relient K

12. Laughing With - Regina Spektor

13. Can't Take That Away - The Friday Night Boys

14. Set Off - Hey Monday

15. Overboard - Ingrid Michaelson

16. Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

17. Here Comes The Sun - The Beatles

18. Write You a Song - Plain White T's

19. 20 Dollar Nose Bleed - Fall Out Boy

20. Imagine - Eva Cassidy

21. Ocean Avenue - Yellowcard

22. Self Inflicted - Katy Perry

23. When It Rains - Paramore

24. Yellow - Coldplay

25. The Scientist - Avril Lavinge

26. Vegas Skies - The Cab

27. Campus - Vampire Weekend

28. Lithium - Evanescence

29. Perfect - Simple Plan

30. Long Division - Death Cab For Cutie

31. The Bakery - Arctic Monkeys

32. Love, Save the Empty - Erin McCarley

33. Heart Songs - Weezer

34. Tonight, Tonight - Panic! at the Disco

35. Hero/Heroine - Boys Like Girls

36. Pavlove - Fall Out Boy

37. Folkin' Around - Panic at the Disco

summer was way too short. i wanted to do so much more, but time fell through the cracks and now, summer is over.

thanks for an awesome summer. jam-packed with so much. i learned a lot this past year and summer. everyone i met and became friends with are really great and i'm so excited.

time to follow that yellow brick road.

no peace? ughhh! that's frustrating!

2009-09-03T19:15:00.000-07:00

family feuds. who likes'em?

my guess is that no one likes anything that has to do with feuding.

imagine this story.

there's a little kid in tattered clothing and he's taking a walk, crying.

the little kid goes to a store. he says, "excuse me, sir?"

the cashier says, "yes? what can i do for you, kid?"

"could i please buy a canister or bag of peace?"

"sorry kid, sold out. maybe come back tomorrow."

"oh okay. thank you mister."

"hey kid. what do you need it for?"

"well my parents are fighting and my grandparents are always in a bad mood."

"maybe i can help." the cashier goes to the back and hands the kid a journal.

"what do i do with this?" the kid sniffles.

"well, when you know you can't talk to anyone about anything and feel like the world is against you, just write in it. or you can come here and we can talk."

"okay thanks. but sometimes it's not talking or writing that's the problem."

"maybe when you can't think of anything to say or write, read something from here." the cashier takes out a bible.

"what's this?"

"it's called a bible. it's God's love all in the here book."

"cool. but i can't take this from you, sir."

"don't worry about it, kid. i have another one."

"are you sure?"

"yea, here take it." the cashier hands the bible to the kid and the kid holds it in his hands.

"thanks, sir."

"the name's andrew. what's your's?"

"my name is ryan." and that was the start of a very strange but nice friendship. ryan was on his way to learning about God and Jesus because of andrew.

i don't think this is a coincidence that i just simply wrote this story. and i don't think it was by accident either. i hope that this is God's way of telling us all that we should tell people about Him and His Love no matter where we are and who we're with. and i think that's awesome. we all need to ask him to use us in some way. and maybe just maybe this is my way of doing so. anyways, that's pretty much it.

*alexx*

maybe.

you've heard it before. lovelovelove.

"i wave 'hello' to the world"

it was only a dream, i hope

worried about not the rights stuff

how do we manage to look past that but not the little things like our looks? do you care so much about your style and appearance that you wouldn't spare a thought for the less fortunate?

kidwatching was fun. cutiepies.

goodbye spring break

the duet

the four letters that actually make sense.

threepointonefouronefiveninetwosixfivefour

self-centered:insecure :: egocentric:narcissistic

to live is to love. to love is to live out for Him.

farewell february. i bid you adieu.

and i couldn't be happier right now

love on the rocks.

rabbit rabbit rabbit.

hippies. peace. hope. love. dreams. nature.

young love is fleeting.

winter retreat.

lost petals

squiggly lines

inside out sock.

cause You're the Salt to my pepper. the LOVE to my letter

six more school days! fifteen days until christmas!

does anyone have God's mailing address?

temporary, fabricated love

"i'm a mess. i confess that i'm nothing without You."

yourbiggestfan

think in a new perspective

about : blank

please don't leave me alone

there is such thing as "too happy"

harvest night.

what if....

bury the castle

you are the only exception

the clouds are dancing around, singing a song

it pains me to say, i'm gonna stay.

forever and always

poems

just observe

the soundtrack of my summer.

no peace? ughhh! that's frustrating!

alexx